The New Adventures of Old Christine

So last night, Kyle, Josh and I decided to get together for dinner. For some reason, when this happens, there is often an increased chance of adventure (see the Adventures of the Simple Minded blog for reference). Last night, adventure laid the smacketh down upon us again.

We took of from Josh and Kyle's about 8:30 or so. I'd been running late because I got sucked into a movie at home, and so got to their house late (however, none of this is my fault, despite Kyle's protestations). We still hadn't decided where we were going to eat (a bit of a theme with us), Kyle decided that he wasn't going to decide, and Josh apparently decided we were going to Bed, Bath, & Beyond for some reason. Unfortunately, we had to pass post King's game traffic to get there. Some woman cut Josh off, so he rode her bumper for a bit because he was annoyed. Then this cute police chick pulls up beside us and asks him if he always drives that bad. It was pretty funny, and she was pretty cute. I, of course, have no game and kept my mouth shut.

The whole situation should have been enough warning for us to just turn around and go home. But... We're stupid.

So we get up to BBB, which is of course closed, as it's nearly 9 on a Sunday night. So we whip through the parking lot back to a light controlled intersection. As we pull up, Josh and I (we're sitting in the front seat of Josh's Dodge 4 door pickup) see this woman standing on the corner. We both knew she was going to be an issue for us. We could tell that she wanted something. But the gorram light wouldn't change, and wouldn't change, and she walked out into the intersection asking us something. Finally Josh just rolls down his window so he could hear her.

"Do you guys know where 80 is? I have to get back to Marysville."

Now, you don't take I-80 to get to Marysville. However, she was obviously intoxicated, and had it in her head she had to go there. Unfortunately, she had walked the wrong way from Arco Arena and ended up where we were, a couple of miles from I 80.

Apparently, she and her boyfriend had come down for the King's game from Marysville, but her BF was a total idiot, jackass, and a variety of repetitive swear words because he kept choosing dope over her. So she left him at the game. We let her in the car, to give a her a ride to the I 5 (which you would take to get to Marysville), though both Kyle and I were pretty sure as soon as Josh let her in the truck that we were going to Marysville that night.

As we get close to I-5, in between her offers to pay us for taking her home, she mentions that her son is waiting for her at the Applebee's (figures) by I-80. So we're all, "Um... why didn't you just tell us that before?" So we hop on the freeway down to the loop, come around, and head into where the restaurant is. We drive up to it, but she doesn't see her car. She borrows Josh's cell to call home to find out where her son is, who apparently had no idea he was supposed to come down to pick her up. Apparently, he just started driving a few weeks ago, and didn't want to drive down one America's bloodiest highways to come pick up his drunk mother on a late Sunday night. So there's a bit of an exchange between her and her son, when Josh says, "I need to get gas."

As soon as he said that, Kyle and I knew the deal was sealed. We were going to Marysville.

So I spent last night traveling the hour or so trip to Marysville to take some poor, drunk woman home, and listening to her stories. She's 40 (a cute 40, though, we were surprised), owns her own business, has 3 kids, and her boyfriend is a druggie dink. I know all this because she repeated it multiple times. Kyle, of course, kept hitting on her, but apparently she was practically laying on him in the back seat so I guess he figured it was worth a shot...

We finally got to eat about 10:30. Thank God for IHOP.