So last night, Kyle, Josh and I decided to get together for dinner. For some reason, when this happens, there is often an increased chance of adventure (see the Adventures of the Simple Minded blog for reference). Last night, adventure laid the smacketh down upon us again.
We took of from Josh and Kyle's about 8:30 or so. I'd been running late because I got sucked into a movie at home, and so got to their house late (however, none of this is my fault, despite Kyle's protestations). We still hadn't decided where we were going to eat (a bit of a theme with us), Kyle decided that he wasn't going to decide, and Josh apparently decided we were going to Bed, Bath, & Beyond for some reason. Unfortunately, we had to pass post King's game traffic to get there. Some woman cut Josh off, so he rode her bumper for a bit because he was annoyed. Then this cute police chick pulls up beside us and asks him if he always drives that bad. It was pretty funny, and she was pretty cute. I, of course, have no game and kept my mouth shut.
The whole situation should have been enough warning for us to just turn around and go home. But... We're stupid.
So we get up to BBB, which is of course closed, as it's nearly 9 on a Sunday night. So we whip through the parking lot back to a light controlled intersection. As we pull up, Josh and I (we're sitting in the front seat of Josh's Dodge 4 door pickup) see this woman standing on the corner. We both knew she was going to be an issue for us. We could tell that she wanted something. But the gorram light wouldn't change, and wouldn't change, and she walked out into the intersection asking us something. Finally Josh just rolls down his window so he could hear her.
"Do you guys know where 80 is? I have to get back to Marysville."
Now, you don't take I-80 to get to Marysville. However, she was obviously intoxicated, and had it in her head she had to go there. Unfortunately, she had walked the wrong way from Arco Arena and ended up where we were, a couple of miles from I 80.
Apparently, she and her boyfriend had come down for the King's game from Marysville, but her BF was a total idiot, jackass, and a variety of repetitive swear words because he kept choosing dope over her. So she left him at the game. We let her in the car, to give a her a ride to the I 5 (which you would take to get to Marysville), though both Kyle and I were pretty sure as soon as Josh let her in the truck that we were going to Marysville that night.
As we get close to I-5, in between her offers to pay us for taking her home, she mentions that her son is waiting for her at the Applebee's (figures) by I-80. So we're all, "Um... why didn't you just tell us that before?" So we hop on the freeway down to the loop, come around, and head into where the restaurant is. We drive up to it, but she doesn't see her car. She borrows Josh's cell to call home to find out where her son is, who apparently had no idea he was supposed to come down to pick her up. Apparently, he just started driving a few weeks ago, and didn't want to drive down one America's bloodiest highways to come pick up his drunk mother on a late Sunday night. So there's a bit of an exchange between her and her son, when Josh says, "I need to get gas."
As soon as he said that, Kyle and I knew the deal was sealed. We were going to Marysville.
So I spent last night traveling the hour or so trip to Marysville to take some poor, drunk woman home, and listening to her stories. She's 40 (a cute 40, though, we were surprised), owns her own business, has 3 kids, and her boyfriend is a druggie dink. I know all this because she repeated it multiple times. Kyle, of course, kept hitting on her, but apparently she was practically laying on him in the back seat so I guess he figured it was worth a shot...
We finally got to eat about 10:30. Thank God for IHOP.
Showing posts with label Kyle. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Kyle. Show all posts
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
Monday, October 16, 2006
Adventures of the Simple Minded
So yesterday (at this point) my friends Kyle, Josh, and I went down to Milpitas to Dave & Busters. There were supposed to be more of us going, but everybody else bailed. Boy, did they miss out...
We had planned on leaving earlier in the day than we did, but we had to wait around for one last hold out. After he fell through, we ended up getting involved in a small project of Josh's. Once that was done, we loaded up into Josh's Dodge pickup and took off at about quarter after 6. It's generally a 2-3 hour drive to D&B, depending on traffic and whatnot, but we managed to make excellent time and got down there about a quarter to 8 - an hour and a half. Remember that, it's important later in the story.
So we go in and put our name in at the restaurant, and head over to the Midway to use the bathroom, recharge our game cards, and try to play some games before dinner. We'd been told it was about a 45 minute wait, but were buzzed back after about 20 minutes. Turns out we had been given a pager that was originally given to a 7 top that had pulled their reservation and weren't scratched off the list. So the hostesses were nice enough to give us the next available normal table, about 5 minutes later.
We ended up spending 5 hours in the restaurant. Literally. That's what happens when you're drinking and have a cute, fun waitress that refuses to give you your check. I had more fun in the restaurant than I did out playing games. Melissa was a blast. Don't worry, nobody did anything to be ashamed of. Well, except for maybe Kyle, but that's Kyle.
So we finally left the restaurant area a little after one, and go play some games. After all, we'd driven all this way and that had originally been our main goal. So we mess around for an hour until 2 am, when they close up and kick us out. Make note of that - we literally left at 2 am.
Now, Kyle had lived down in the Bay Area a few years back, and Josh wanted to go back on 580 so we didn't have to pay the toll. At least, I think that's why we took 580. I was kind of dozing at that point. Anyways, we take off over the mountains on some back road that supposedly saved us some travel time from the 680. We get over to the 580, and stop at a gas station who's mini-mart was closed for the night. No potty for me. We get back on the road and see some poor girl with a flat on the side of the road. We pull back off the freeway, loop around, and come back an help her. It was about 2:30 at that point, and took us about 20 minutes.
After helping her out and turning down the proffered payment, we went over to an office for the company that Josh works for so we could go pee and wash tire dirt gunk off our hands. We farted around there for another 20 minutes or so, with Josh showing off this and that, like the big crane that they have (that's what he works on).
So we take off a little after 3. Less than 20 miles down the road, Kyle says, "Wow, that guy behind us is really having trouble staying on the road." The guy was swerving all over the place, to the point where Josh actually called 911 to report a drunk driver. The best part of that conversation came when the dispatcher told Josh he was speeding when he told her we were doing 75 (because we were trying to stay away from the guy). But the guy started taking an off ramp to Tracy (I think that's where we were), so we slowed down and let him swerve past us so we could get the make of the car and the license plate number. It was a two lane exit, so we actually followed him off the freeway because Josh was still reading off the plate number. We then got to watch the guy swerve to the left, hit some bushes, and then over correct to the right, shoot across the road, and flip over. Josh was like, "Oops, oh, he's about to crash. Yep, he crashed. He flipped over."
So, of course we stop. The guy was okay, and thankfully alone. Apparently he was just really tired and couldn't stay awake. None of us smelled alcohol, and he didn't seem to be acting like he was on drugs. Kind of hard to tell, though, since he spoke little English and had trouble using Josh's cellphone. He also kept asking us to give him a ride, and we were like, "Well, the cops are coming, so we'll give you a ride after wards." Finally the CHP showed up, and talked to Josh for what seemed like forever. Then the cop finally arrested the guy and sent us on our way.
By this time it was around 4 am. Because we had taken this off ramp, we were now committed to finding our way through Tracy back to the freeway. We managed to do so without incident, but passed a few restaurants along the way and realized we were kind of hungry. We finally ended up stopping in Stockton (I think) at a Denny's around 4:30. Of course, by that time, it had been nearly 8 hours since we had last eaten. So we grubbed some breakfast, and took off around 5.
We finally got back to Josh's about 6 am, 1 minute after his wife called to see where he was at. It had taken us 2 and a half hours longer to get home than it did to get to D&B...
We had planned on leaving earlier in the day than we did, but we had to wait around for one last hold out. After he fell through, we ended up getting involved in a small project of Josh's. Once that was done, we loaded up into Josh's Dodge pickup and took off at about quarter after 6. It's generally a 2-3 hour drive to D&B, depending on traffic and whatnot, but we managed to make excellent time and got down there about a quarter to 8 - an hour and a half. Remember that, it's important later in the story.
So we go in and put our name in at the restaurant, and head over to the Midway to use the bathroom, recharge our game cards, and try to play some games before dinner. We'd been told it was about a 45 minute wait, but were buzzed back after about 20 minutes. Turns out we had been given a pager that was originally given to a 7 top that had pulled their reservation and weren't scratched off the list. So the hostesses were nice enough to give us the next available normal table, about 5 minutes later.
We ended up spending 5 hours in the restaurant. Literally. That's what happens when you're drinking and have a cute, fun waitress that refuses to give you your check. I had more fun in the restaurant than I did out playing games. Melissa was a blast. Don't worry, nobody did anything to be ashamed of. Well, except for maybe Kyle, but that's Kyle.
So we finally left the restaurant area a little after one, and go play some games. After all, we'd driven all this way and that had originally been our main goal. So we mess around for an hour until 2 am, when they close up and kick us out. Make note of that - we literally left at 2 am.
Now, Kyle had lived down in the Bay Area a few years back, and Josh wanted to go back on 580 so we didn't have to pay the toll. At least, I think that's why we took 580. I was kind of dozing at that point. Anyways, we take off over the mountains on some back road that supposedly saved us some travel time from the 680. We get over to the 580, and stop at a gas station who's mini-mart was closed for the night. No potty for me. We get back on the road and see some poor girl with a flat on the side of the road. We pull back off the freeway, loop around, and come back an help her. It was about 2:30 at that point, and took us about 20 minutes.
After helping her out and turning down the proffered payment, we went over to an office for the company that Josh works for so we could go pee and wash tire dirt gunk off our hands. We farted around there for another 20 minutes or so, with Josh showing off this and that, like the big crane that they have (that's what he works on).
So we take off a little after 3. Less than 20 miles down the road, Kyle says, "Wow, that guy behind us is really having trouble staying on the road." The guy was swerving all over the place, to the point where Josh actually called 911 to report a drunk driver. The best part of that conversation came when the dispatcher told Josh he was speeding when he told her we were doing 75 (because we were trying to stay away from the guy). But the guy started taking an off ramp to Tracy (I think that's where we were), so we slowed down and let him swerve past us so we could get the make of the car and the license plate number. It was a two lane exit, so we actually followed him off the freeway because Josh was still reading off the plate number. We then got to watch the guy swerve to the left, hit some bushes, and then over correct to the right, shoot across the road, and flip over. Josh was like, "Oops, oh, he's about to crash. Yep, he crashed. He flipped over."
So, of course we stop. The guy was okay, and thankfully alone. Apparently he was just really tired and couldn't stay awake. None of us smelled alcohol, and he didn't seem to be acting like he was on drugs. Kind of hard to tell, though, since he spoke little English and had trouble using Josh's cellphone. He also kept asking us to give him a ride, and we were like, "Well, the cops are coming, so we'll give you a ride after wards." Finally the CHP showed up, and talked to Josh for what seemed like forever. Then the cop finally arrested the guy and sent us on our way.
By this time it was around 4 am. Because we had taken this off ramp, we were now committed to finding our way through Tracy back to the freeway. We managed to do so without incident, but passed a few restaurants along the way and realized we were kind of hungry. We finally ended up stopping in Stockton (I think) at a Denny's around 4:30. Of course, by that time, it had been nearly 8 hours since we had last eaten. So we grubbed some breakfast, and took off around 5.
We finally got back to Josh's about 6 am, 1 minute after his wife called to see where he was at. It had taken us 2 and a half hours longer to get home than it did to get to D&B...
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